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Stanley, 06.22.89
殷亿 - Chinese
ｽﾀﾝレｰ - Jap
陳殷億 - Chinese
ちんいんおく- Jap
스탠리 - Korean
สแตนเล่ย์ - Thai
Life is too short to be Negative
Airpork?
22June1989
Cancer
In NP(BS)
Was in CVSS
Was in SKPS
The Smart one
The Lost one
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The Fat one

陈君有志行四方
殷人一筹气轩昂
亿园广进达三江
榜上题名鸿运昌

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Sunday, August 31, 2008

Have been watching a program and reading some books these days, and I am confuse about many things that I am looking for. Like a vault it shut closely, fearing of opening it up.

Is this world work by demand and supply?
Does people really do cost and benefit analysis?
If that is so, are people rational in thinking?
Are we using so much of thoughts and we forgot emotion?
Are we too rational in thoughts that our feeling became so rational too?
Does feeling have to be guided by demand and supply?
Does feeling have to be lead by cost and benefit analysis?
Does feeling have to be so rational?

Time and time people tell me the reality of this world.
I know I need to grow! But it seems so hash sometimes.

Time and time I heard that we are just creatures that behave so rationally that it seems so appalling to know. Can we just simply act irrationally on something that we are truly seeking?

Maybe in this hectic society, irrational will hardly exist. Perhaps such irrational only happens in movies, books and shows. Perhaps this society we lived in is too complicated for us to simply relax and enjoy the pleasure of many things. Or perhaps fairy tales and movies plainly over simplify our life? Although my mind seems so complicated but all I want is just a simple irrational feeling.

Yes, I agree that we live in a society of complete economic freedom, but are this too overwhelming to simply live a life of economics?
Meeting the demand and supply? Climbing the “made” corporate ladder?

Why so I talk so much about economic?

It is because I was hit hard today during a workshop, submerge in the “true” about this pure economic driven society. Furthermore, the reinforced by the book I read regarding the logic of life.

I have 2 choices, first is to ignore about it completely or second is to face it and make a life of myself and my family.

Knowing the “reality” of life really scares me.
Social (races, religions, believes, values, life and thoughts), economical (job) and political (freedom of life’s) parts of daily life are nothing by merely a manipulation of some people. It really terrified me how fragile is our lives and how much we are value in this world.

Maybe, what I wanted was to understand a bit more because I was so insecure about the purpose of my life, but as I knew more, I became more and more insecure resulting in losing some direction in my life.

To be frank, I really want to experience such irrationally thinking and just simply following my heart at least once? But, such irrational behavior seems so difficult to unlock it. Perhaps my irrational are locked deep in the vault.

Or am I too self-doubling about myself and lacking self confidence and self esteem that I so fear of opening up? Perhaps I have not found the “key” to unlock my vault.

Really hope that one day I could open this vault and allow such irrational feeling flow. I strongly believe that there is irrational feeling in this world. Perhaps is our over rational minds blinds us the intense of irrational feeling? I felt like a vault that shut closely, fearing of opening it up.