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All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.
~Walt Disney
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Stanley, 06.22.89殷亿 - Chinese ｽﾀﾝレｰ - Jap 陳殷億 - Chinese ちんいんおく- Jap 스탠리 - Korean สแตนเล่ย์ - Thai Life is too short to be Negative Airpork? 22June1989 Cancer In NP(BS) Was in CVSS Was in SKPS The Smart one The Lost one The Sorrow one The Fat one 陈君有志行四方 殷人一筹气轩昂 亿园广进达三江 榜上题名鸿运昌 contact me Tagboard
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Thursday, April 30, 2009
So tired of doing nothing… On other hand I am not looking that forward for national service, although I know I have to face it, I just dun feel like I will love it. Better than nothing to do, I wish I can serve what I have to faster to end the event as fast as I could. Knowing I have to face it, I will face it with all my best. Although I might not fully enjoy it, but I will tell myself I will do my best. This is life, finding the sweetest moment even in the worst environment and the worst experience. Rather to hate it, I shall embrace it! TRAINING and FIGHTING shall l? Although these days I am bored almost every moment, but is also a time I am truly enjoying the “nothing to do” and stay at home. Weird, when I am very busy I wish I have such time, but when I have too much of such time I just finding myself wasting it. Just wanting to sleep all day and all night, just felt so nice so happy just to be in dream sometimes, because is the only time I can experience the most of my fear, love, pain and myself. Because this world does not belong to the dreamers, I seek comfort in the world of greatness in my dream. People find it crazy, but this is how I feel sometimes, because I am always disappointed about this society, I cannot say I am disappointed about this world but this society. I just hate myself sometime that I do not follow my heart, perhaps I am afraid I will fail in doing some things I am passionate about and scared I will grow to hate something to me seems so beautiful. I always say people do not understand me; perhaps I was never open to let others understand me. Just felt so me when I am alone listening to the music the reaches my heart. Hoping people will realize the dreams for me… selfish? I want to create the world that to me is perfect, but is the word “reality” that I hate it so much controls this world now. Sometimes I lost myself in the reality, but when I find my real self I am always lost and confuse. Sometime I wish I am not born in this era where most people find it golden age of the golden. But is because of this that let us forgot the most important part of lives. Is doing the passionate things so hard? I realized almost everything I hope for, or the perfect jobs are not “perfect” in most people. Is successful base on how much you earn? Perhaps is true that being rich you can own so many things that can make you feel very comfortable, I do seek them, but is it the most important? One part of my say yes “my brain” but one part me will say no “my heart”. Although I wish can follow my heart, but my brain will just make me again and again to choose a path that I might not really hope to have. My brain wills again and again convincing me that the route I choose will lead to the dream goal of my heart. But, why should I take a huge and big route to reached dreams where I can just throw myself into some things I love. Perhaps I know follow heart in this society will result in scars and even more disappointments. Scared of pain I choose the easy step which is following my brain, but by doing so I feel even and even more tried. Same questions keep flooding my mind, “what I want to be” make me lost my path and confuse. Perhaps my dream world is too unrealistic to happen in this world. Something I wish I could shout, “WHY ARE PEOPLE FIGHTING EACH OTHER?”, “WHY ARE THERE SO MY ASSHOLE”,”WHY IS THIS WORLD IN SUCH SAD STATE”,”WHY ARE WE DEMANDING SO MUCH AND SO MUCH?” and I even wanted to shout HOW I HATE THIS SOCIETY. But think of it, is not their fault also, they cannot help it, is a virus that is wide spread, and if we do not build up the immune to it we will be killed by the expectation in this world. Perhaps the worst feeling we get is knowing we do not fit into this society and the worst fact is know that as an individual we are not successful . What the world will think of a person who is fighting so hard just to love and not following the norms? This world just does not allow. All I wanted is simple, yet a person always say is “unrealistic” in this world, but what I want is indeed so simple. Perhaps the rich world makes us forget the simple world human use to love. I am really a very simple person that found the simplest things to be the happiest, perhaps this world made the simplest enjoyment to be the most difficult to achieved. I always open my thoughts, but people might still never fully understand me. Too tired to even think some more… The more I think the more emotional I get, which in this world a guy should not be emotional. I need someone who can take my huge emotional burden I am carrying it always, because I build up huge emotional in me by hiding it to the world outside of myself. Perhaps being an INFJ is like that, the emotional world are trapped within, and the more real part are not shown. Although INFJ are very real in this world, but their dreams and ideals will only remains in their mind which shared the world will be a better place. |
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用我的一生来守护和完成我的梦想
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