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Stanley, 06.22.89
殷亿 - Chinese
ｽﾀﾝレｰ - Jap
陳殷億 - Chinese
ちんいんおく- Jap
스탠리 - Korean
สแตนเล่ย์ - Thai
Life is too short to be Negative
Airpork?
22June1989
Cancer
In NP(BS)
Was in CVSS
Was in SKPS
The Smart one
The Lost one
The Sorrow one
The Fat one

陈君有志行四方
殷人一筹气轩昂
亿园广进达三江
榜上题名鸿运昌

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Sunday, July 05, 2009

Am I crazy?

These few days I think I am going mad and I am really ARGH!
I have no idea how am I going to do, ignore it again? I think I am confused now and I hate it! I do not want to ignore my feeling again, but!

Other than that, I just felt really nothing this few days, YES I MIGHT SEEM GREEDY, but I just felt I have achieved nothing at the age of 20. Not even, earn back a cent for family. What I earn is just enough for self, not to even say WHAT! Really, when I saw so many people at the age of 25, 23 had already achieved so much I cannot stop myself but to wonder what I had done. Why I feel this way? Not because I am jealous is just that I felt the urgency that I need my goals and aims and I need to do something in my life.

There are many things I want to do, but I just do not know how to do and I have no one to stand by me. Is a feeling of getting to the peak and falling right at the bottom right again. JUST SO PISSED, I wanted simple life but I just cannot allow myself to end my life not doing something big. Because this is my life and this is my story, and therefore I have to write it myself. Who will like to read a book that has no content and a story that keeps repeating with no new ideals? Every story has its starting and will have an ending, and we cannot stop it from ending. The feeling I am having now does not want to have a sad ending but an ending people will remember.
BUT HOW? I want to do many things now, but I realized I just cannot, the feeling is like being caged and not allow to fly.

ARGH!

Please hear me!